Thursday, February 26, 2015

People's reaction to my pregnancy - RANTY McRANT PANTS

So having a baby...

Suddenly everyone:
  • is shocked that we ARE actually having a baby.  Sure we have been together for a long time, 19 years, since we were 15 when we first met and for most of that time (derrr) C hasn't been ready for a child and I personally have wanted to adopt for most of the time I have been ready.   BUT I am only 34 - I'm not 50 years old! And if I want a baby - adopting probably would take that long - so we got all DIY about it and made one ourselves.
  • wants to tell you about their personal babying experiences - I'm a little over this already but I'm only halfway there.  At least the labour stories haven't started because I'm going to be shutting that shit down.
  • thinks you want their old baby stuff. Awesome, but I'm pretty picky about my own clothes, can you imagine how I'm going to be about baby? And please don't patronise me about how I won't care after a while.
  • asks if you are okay - but they don't really need to know that I am tired, sore and have a bladder infection. In fact most people don't even care about the answer, because if they did they would be able to tell by the expression on my face that I'm not okay and ask how they can help me.  And when I do answer that I am tired etc. this is not a competition nor do I care right now about how I will get much less sleep when he's out in the world. I'm pregnant not stupid.
  • wants to know the sex or the name. Like it's any of their dam business or even if it was how does that change the way I or anyone else views my baby? I politely say boy, and we're not sharing the name yet.  They're probably not going to like it anyway.

    I think these types of questions get asked because everyone thinks that's what you should ask a pregnant woman.  I'd rather get asked about what TV shows I'm watching or book I'm reading or craft I doing.
  • has an opinion about boys - generally negative - as in boys will be boys or a wry nod or a you're going to have a handful on your hands... As someone that teaches gender construction, I have to say are we still living in the 1950s?

    Or is shocked when I answer the how I will be dressing my son question - any dam way I please thank you very much, including PINK and tutus!

    I would also like to point out that my having a bladder infection doesn't actually have anything to do the sex of my baby. He's not a naughty boy already.
  • is worried about my food intake.  This I totally appreciate, it's nice to know that people are making sure they include my new dietary requirements. My issue now though is - my doctor tells me today - that I have lost weight and I need to eat more. OKAY! I've been worried about the old saying 'eating for two' which I'm not, so I haven't. Guess I'll have to work on that.
  • starts checking out your tummy, trying to tell if I'm getting bigger - yes I am - although apparently not enough.
  • wants to know how we are arranging the house or if we have sorted out the baby's room yet. Even worse is when they refer to my belongings as 'shit' as in 'have you moved your shit yet?' No, did you not listen to me telling you that I am tired, sore and now apparantly have a bladder infection? What about the idea that I work full time, and on the weekend I usually spend one day of that working as well?  And my husband has just started at a new position so his work load is bigger than mine. How about you help me and my husband instead of sitting in judgement about how much stuff I own. Or how about you shut up.
 Stay tuned for more insights... hopefully positive one. But for now, I actually have to get back and so some work for tomorrow.

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